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I mean, the title of this post really says it all. I actually ended up waking up earlier today because my husband got up before me.
We get our doggo on October 5th and next week is TwitchCon. I'm excited to go, but I am not excited to go back to San Diego. I am worried it is just going to be extremely stressful and chaotic and insane and... eh. Hopefully it turns out to be okay.
I have been trying to be more in tune with what my needs are. When I feel like I want something, I examine why I want it and whether or not it would benefit me. This is partly inspired by the tarot reading I had last weekend.
Basically, a few themes came up. I know I have this bullshit obsession with my own existential dilemmas. It's probably annoying to read about, and honestly, it's annoying for me to think about... but there is something in that mess that I feel like I am really close to uncovering. It's nagging and frustrating that whatever is supposed to come from that struggle hasn't surfaced yet. Ultimately, it comes down to a few things. One of the biggest take aways though was my issues with self-care.
Self-care is this thing everyone talks about, and it conjures images of spa days and other such indulgent shit. The problem is that it isn't really self-care. What I mean by self-care is the preventative shit. Such as, making sure I am eating well, exercising, drinking enough water, and most importantly, getting good sleep. I have started setting a hard rule for myself; no caffeine after 3 or 4pm on weekdays. This will probably also be a weekend thing too, but as it currently stands, I have only been doing that since the beginning of this week. I don't know if I am feeling a difference yet, but I am not feeling anything adverse from doing it, so that is a good step if I ask myself.
I feel like, whatever my purpose is, or whatever unique gift I bring to the world, the first real step to figuring that the fuck out is to start actually taking care of my body so that my mind is healthy. I can't focus on doing things or getting anything done if I feel sick and tired all of the fucking time. And maybe today feels good because I have spent the last week holding myself accountable to sleep. Starting today though, I am going to hold myself accountable to activity. There is absolutely NO reason why I can't walk for at least one hour every single day.
Obviously, I want to do more vigorous activity than walking and I want to get back to lifting weights... but on days where I am not feeling well enough to run or lift, I can at least walk for an hour. I did it two days in a row earlier this week, and everything was fine.
I have also been trying to get some natural sunlight in throughout the day. I haven't been 100% great about this, but I recognize that it is something I need to do.
I recognize how annoying it is to listen or read someone going on and on about all of the healthy lifestyle bullshit they are doing/going to do. But, truthfully, I need to pay attention to these things. I feel like I am always going to be stuck and stagnant if I don't get a grip on feeling sick all of the time.
I finally finished something I was working on at work yesterday. Which feels fucking great because it was killing me inside. I am waiting for feedback before uploading it to the appropriate channels.
Also, just for the sake of putting this in writing, I plan to do the following when I get home from work today:
1. Go for a walk/run (depending on how I am feeling)
2. Put laundry away while I cool off (I have been neglecting taking my clean clothing out of the basket for a lOoOOoOOng time)
3. Take a shower and wash my hair
4. Cook dinner
5. Draw OR clean up my office space
We get our doggo on October 5th and next week is TwitchCon. I'm excited to go, but I am not excited to go back to San Diego. I am worried it is just going to be extremely stressful and chaotic and insane and... eh. Hopefully it turns out to be okay.
I have been trying to be more in tune with what my needs are. When I feel like I want something, I examine why I want it and whether or not it would benefit me. This is partly inspired by the tarot reading I had last weekend.
Basically, a few themes came up. I know I have this bullshit obsession with my own existential dilemmas. It's probably annoying to read about, and honestly, it's annoying for me to think about... but there is something in that mess that I feel like I am really close to uncovering. It's nagging and frustrating that whatever is supposed to come from that struggle hasn't surfaced yet. Ultimately, it comes down to a few things. One of the biggest take aways though was my issues with self-care.
Self-care is this thing everyone talks about, and it conjures images of spa days and other such indulgent shit. The problem is that it isn't really self-care. What I mean by self-care is the preventative shit. Such as, making sure I am eating well, exercising, drinking enough water, and most importantly, getting good sleep. I have started setting a hard rule for myself; no caffeine after 3 or 4pm on weekdays. This will probably also be a weekend thing too, but as it currently stands, I have only been doing that since the beginning of this week. I don't know if I am feeling a difference yet, but I am not feeling anything adverse from doing it, so that is a good step if I ask myself.
I feel like, whatever my purpose is, or whatever unique gift I bring to the world, the first real step to figuring that the fuck out is to start actually taking care of my body so that my mind is healthy. I can't focus on doing things or getting anything done if I feel sick and tired all of the fucking time. And maybe today feels good because I have spent the last week holding myself accountable to sleep. Starting today though, I am going to hold myself accountable to activity. There is absolutely NO reason why I can't walk for at least one hour every single day.
Obviously, I want to do more vigorous activity than walking and I want to get back to lifting weights... but on days where I am not feeling well enough to run or lift, I can at least walk for an hour. I did it two days in a row earlier this week, and everything was fine.
I have also been trying to get some natural sunlight in throughout the day. I haven't been 100% great about this, but I recognize that it is something I need to do.
I recognize how annoying it is to listen or read someone going on and on about all of the healthy lifestyle bullshit they are doing/going to do. But, truthfully, I need to pay attention to these things. I feel like I am always going to be stuck and stagnant if I don't get a grip on feeling sick all of the time.
I finally finished something I was working on at work yesterday. Which feels fucking great because it was killing me inside. I am waiting for feedback before uploading it to the appropriate channels.
Also, just for the sake of putting this in writing, I plan to do the following when I get home from work today:
1. Go for a walk/run (depending on how I am feeling)
2. Put laundry away while I cool off (I have been neglecting taking my clean clothing out of the basket for a lOoOOoOOng time)
3. Take a shower and wash my hair
4. Cook dinner
5. Draw OR clean up my office space
