ruinousrapture | It Sure Has...

It's been a while since I last updated. Sometimes I get in the groove of doing a thing and it feels fulfilling, but over time, anything I am working on that started with the intrinsic desire to be better starts to feel like an obligation. I get overwhelmed and feel trapped in a cage. It kind of sucks because practice is what makes one better at anything they set out to do, but consistency is the key to that development. And unfortunately for me, it's not that I am lazy or don't want to get better, it's the feeling of being restricted that drives me up the wall.

A lot of that probably has to do with Anxiety (capital A).

I started voice and piano in January. I am very excited to see my development in these areas. Fuck, man. I have a lot going on but I feel like updating the world on everything is both useless and annoying. I know that once upon a time I was able to write about my daily life without it feeling like I was just making a list, but now that is all it seems to be. I don't know if it was the self-importance that came with being a teenager, but I used to feel like every mundane thing I did was interesting. Now, as an adult, all of the interesting things I am doing feel like they would be mundane to anyone reading.

I just recently finished a couple of drawings: