ruinousrapture: I See Fire - Oil on Canvas (Default)
Yesterday was so stressful and annoying. The adventure continues into today. 

The day had started off excellent, but quickly turned into a mess. I tried not to let it all get to me, but the truth is that this whole thing has challenged my ability to feel like I am a competent human being. 

My husband and I are in the middle of purchasing a home. We have made it through underwriting and are waiting for the final numbers so we can request the money be sent to our escrow company. We are supposed to close THIS Friday, and I still don't have final numbers. To make matters worse? Neither of us have banks in the state of Nebraska. So in order to make the request, I have to overnight a form to my bank in California. If I don't receive those numbers today, I am worried the money won't make it to the escrow company by Friday. Even if I overnight this out today, I am not certain the money would be in escrow by Friday. I'm worried that the seller is going to want to back out of the deal because we couldn't keep our ONE promise in the agreement; close by Friday. I'm sure that isn't very likely, but it is a possibility and my brain definitely wants to go there because... me.

Some of this is my fault for not knowing any better and being somewhat lazy when it comes to updating our banking situation. The other part of this is that I just didn't know. And now I feel like I am failing as a human being. I know that is a pretty extreme reaction, but I can't help but feel that way. 

I have been obsessively watching my e-mail and phone to see if we receive those final numbers. I feel sick to my stomach. 

Today, I woke up feeling pretty groggy. I think some of this has to do with the fact that I couldn't sleep last night due to stress, I took a sleep aid, I'm on my period, AND I woke up at around 4am because of torrential downpour and high winds outside. It was a pleasant sound, but it was really loud and woke me up. 

I am hopeful that once I down the rest of my coffee that the day will feel better. I'm also hopeful that any minute now I am going to receive those final numbers and I can rush my happy ass to the shipping place to overnight this thing. 

On that note, I am really excited about the house. Once we get moved in, I feel I can really start cultivating my creativity again. I will have my own space, free of distractions. 

Well, I have a meeting I have to drag my ass to, so I will touch base again later on. 
ruinousrapture: I See Fire - Oil on Canvas (Default)
 Wow! So for the past few days I have literally done nothing except play Graveyard Keeper on the Switch. I am definitely hooked!

I had the day off yesterday, so it was really nice to just relax on the couch and play to my heart's content. However, having the day off on a Thursday made it extra challenging to come in to work today. My husband has a half day at work today, which I am extremely jealous of. I think our office is open for the entire day, so that means I have to be here all day! BOOoOo! 

I have a massage scheduled for later today though, so that will be nice. My left hip has been bothering me quite a bit, so I plan on asking for extra attention in that area. 

On that note, I was thinking about going running today, but since it appears that thunderstorms are in the forecast, I will probably abstain from that activity. And because of my massage this evening, I can't really head to the gym after work. I guess I could go after my massage, but I think that would feel a little weird. I need to get back to weight lifting, but I understand that getting back into the habit of doing things takes time. Never get old, kids! 

I haven't meditated in a while and I can definitely feel it. We have some exciting things that are happening that should give me the space to do that more frequently, but I am keeping that information on the DL until everything is absolutely finalized. (I'm not superstitious, you're superstitious!) 


Right now I am just sitting in my empty office, shoes off, drinking coffee and type-type-typing away. ...thinking about Graveyard Keeper... Do you think I have a problem? haha! 

Also, I made a post in the justcreate community here: 
https://justcreate.dreamwidth.org/8070.html

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ruinousrapture: I See Fire - Oil on Canvas (Default)
ruinousrapture

July 2020

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